The Book Pirate’s Musings on… Jazz Hands, Part 2
The Book Pirate’s Musing on…
Jazz Hands
Yesterday while I discovered when to use Jazz Hands I also came across many undocumented variations of Jazz Hands. Behold!
Traditional Jazz Hands
These are the types of Jazz Hands that most people are familiar with. It’s the basic gesture of holding both hands in the air with your fingers spread apart. They are usually done to add emphasis to something to person making the gesture is saying or doing.
The Walking Jazz Hands
These look like the little white man who tells you when you are allowed to cross the street (that is unless you are a Portlander, in which case you cross whenever you damn well feel like it). This formation of Jazz Hands is best used when making either and entrance, exit, or some combination of the two.
Lower Jazz Hands
Particularly dangerous as this gesture can easily be interpreted as “Hey look are my crotch”. It’s like Traditional Jazz Hands but instead of holding your hands in the air you hold them down around your waist. For the more experienced Jazz Hander, start with Lower Jazz Hands and raise your arms until you are in the Traditional Jazz Hand position. I recommend singing while you do this.
Behind-the-Back, Lower jazz Hands
The only Jazz Hands that I found where you do not face your audience. Don’t hold this pose for too long unless you have an above-average ass that your audience will not mind looking at for a few extra seconds. This Jazz Hand technique works best if a curtain raises to reveal you already pre-posed. This is not a gesture that you can easily strike in front of people. You have to be discovered already doing it.
The Single Jazz Hand
This is Jazz Hands for the individual who is trying to play it cool, nonchalant. Leaning with your back against the wall, possibly in a dimly lit room, lets people know that you are so much better than them that you do not need both hands. The Single Jazz Hand gesture is for the people who are pretentious or like to be perceived that way.
Stay tuned for Monday where we return to more book related nonsense and a review of Marc Acito ‘s Attack of the Theater People
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